Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
