It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
