I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Randomize
