I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
