I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
