He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
