he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
