I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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