I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
