she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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