The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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