Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Randomize
