Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
