it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
