i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
