remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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