I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize
