I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize