so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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