It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Randomize
