I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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