So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
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