If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
