My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize