Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
