just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
