Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize
