Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
