Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
