Will you blow on my dice?
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
