You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
