So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
