Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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