..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
