he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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