we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize
