"it" just moved
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
These tits shall not be calmed
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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