Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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