I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
