Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
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