so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
