im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
