I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
