I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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