Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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