I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
