It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
