please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
