He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
