The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Randomize
