Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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