I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
