I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
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